Friday five: but how, then, shall we live?

Sally of the RevGals writes:

This has been a good week for British Methodism, The Annual Conference has discussed and debated many things and not shied away from some difficult stuff. New Ministers have been Ordained and received into Full Connexion. Add to that the fact that two amazing ladies; Alison Tomlin and Eunice Attwood have taken up their posts as President and Vice-President for 2010/2011–and that they have both inspired us in their speeches and preaching , and you begin to get the picture. In the Vice-President's Address Eunice gave an inspiring account of the type of church she wants to be a part of:

I want to be part of a church that is prayer-filled -
A church that is resourced and sustained by the Bible,
A church that can offer hope even in a credit crunch,
A church that can live well with difference and diversity.

I want to be part of a church that welcomes the wealthy, those who have power and influence -
A church that knows how to party and celebrate life,
A church that acknowledges death and speaks boldly of resurrection,
A church that doesn’t pretend to have all the answers but encourages all the questions.

I want to be part of a church that throws parties for prostitutes -
A church that welcomes those who seek asylum,
A church that longs and yearns for justice,
A church that listens to those no-one else wants to listen to.

I want to be part of a church that believes in transformation not preservation -
A church where all who are lost can be found,
A church where people can discover friendship,
A church where every person takes responsibility in sharing the good news.

I want to be part of a church whose hope is placed securely and confidently in the transforming love of God -
A church that engages faith in its communities,
A church that makes and nurtures disciples of Jesus.

A church where the story of God’s love is at the centre.
I want to be part of a church that offers outrageous grace, reckless generosity, transforming love and engaging faith.
This is God’s story Transforming Love: Engaging Faith.

My prayer is that by the power of the Spirit of God at work amongst us, it will increasingly be our story.

I want to be part of that church too, and at the danger of trying to add to such a wonderful litany of dreams/ visions and prayers I wonder which five things would you echo from or add to this. What kind of church do you want to be a part of in the 21st Century?

Bonus: Is there a hymn or a Bible passage that you would make your inspiration?

Well. That's a thinker, isn't it? Here's my answer:

I want to be part of a church that is

1. humble–that can find a different standard of belonging than dogmatic “right” and “wrong.” That can be fully in conversation with people and institutions whose ideas, strengths, commitments are different from its own, for the betterment of all. That can admit when it’s wrong by its own standards, repent and do better next time. That cares less about its image in the world than its effectiveness in the relief of suffering and of spreading (or, at the very least, not impeding) the love of God. Talk with me about babies and bathwater all you want; I’m pretty sure that genuine love is the fulfillment of the Law. I want a church that isn’t so comfortable that it has all the right answers; that’s a kind of living death. I want a church that will recognize its own “-olatries” and work to tear them down. And could we maybe even (dare I say it) laugh at ourselves sometimes?
2. engaged in a positive way–that truly sees the suffering/injustice within its walls, down the street, and around the world (which will require a good dose of characteristic #1, particularly in first-world environments) and wants to provide that cold drink of water to a child more than it wants to preserve itself. That seeks out the gifts of its body and brings them to bear on the problems it finds. However, the church should act within the political system of its country more as a voice of conscience than as a political power in its own right; it should be about raising questions about how we are to live together, instead of seeking power for its own sake. And–hear me now–its methods are every bit as important as its results. Scapegoating and scaring people into thinking they’re losing their grip on everything they hold dear so that they’ll support a particular political engine is hypocritical, reprehensible and, in the end, counter-productive. Witness the treatment of GLBT folks in the last twenty years as just one of many examples. We should be about tikkun olam.
3. awake to the unfolding beauty of the world–that observes, listens, ponders and responds creatively. Where beauty is taken seriously as a characteristic of the Divine. Where the planet is celebrated and protected as our astonishing home. Where spirits open in song, art, dance and story, in response to the unbelievable gift of being alive and together under the sun, in God’s gaze, as part of the ongoing story of God’s people. Where, as the hymn says, “through the church the song goes on.”
4. un-self-conscious about holding love of God and neighbor as its highest values. Period. Worship is vibrant, fresh, the central practice/equipment to the life of faith for all people–and I do mean ALL people–so that they may be sent out to love all the world. Not to convert them, just to love them. It must be extravagantly welcoming to everyone, as if love really does cast out fear. Doctrinal agreement and social conformity are not defining characteristics of this community; for once, it’s more about “us” than about “me.” And–don’t get me wrong–I’m not talking about a squishy “we are the world” sentiment here; I’m talking about honest, vigorous, creative, brave, get-your-hands-dirty love. Not onstage; in the trenches. And sometimes, we are the ones in need of help and teaching. Two-way relationships.
5. hopeful, faithful, confident and patient enough to pour itself out as Christ did.

And let me just say this; it’s easy to talk about it on this level. The hard part is when we try to answer the question, “But how, then, shall we live?” Because working all this out is messy. Feelings get hurt. Dignities are affronted. Turf is impinged upon. Scabs are pulled off. Put your helmets on, people; this is a contact sport. But if those things don’t happen, from where does the growth come? Truly, if we’re not changed by the experience, what are we doing? And this is where the good stuff always comes–where we can be surprised by grace, by joy, by love.

Oh, and my answer to the bonus question? Albert Bayly's wonderful hymn does it for me (sung to BEACH SPRING):

Lord, whose love in humble service bore the weight of human need;

who, upon the cross, forsaken, worked your mercy's perfect deed.

We, your servants, bring the worship not of voice alone, but heart;

consecrating to your purpose every gift that you impart.

Still your children wander homeless; still the hungry cry for bread;

still the captives long for freedom; still in grief we mourn our dead.

As you, Lord, in deep compassion, healed the sick and freed the soul,

by your Spirit send us power to your world to make it whole.

As we worship, grant us vision, till your love's redeeming light

in its height and depth and greatness dawns upon our quickened sight,

making known the needs and burdens your compassion bids us bear;

stirring us to ardent service, your abundant life to share.

Called by worship to your service, forth in your dear name we go,

to the child, the youth, the aged, love in living deeds to show;

hope and health, goodwill and comfort, counsel, aid and peace we give,

that your servants, Lord, in freedom may your mercy know and live.

Friday five: Remember me?

Hi, everyone–it's been a while, and I've missed you! But here I am, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, redesigned and looking forward to coming back to the Reef.

RevGal Jan writes:

As I opened up my computer this morning, I directly went to my blog and RevGals to see what the newest Friday Five would be! Nothing was here, which seemed odd. Then I went to look at the calendar and counted the Fridays, and it is the THIRD Friday! How did that happen so quickly? It's my turn, so here's a quickie:

1. Do you tend to be a late person or one who is timely, arriving on time or earlier?

I'm used to being the one who runs the meeting/rehearsal/event, which means that I take being prepared and punctual seriously–it's a matter of respecting those good souls who have volunteered their time and effort for that which I've asked. It backs up on me sometimes, though:

• I'm (unreasonably?) irritated by lateness. I know that life sometimes gets in the way, but I have a hard time not seeing habitual lateness as a sign of disrespect.
• I drive Beloved nuts when we're going somewhere together–I'm the little bouncing animal gasping "Are you ready? Can we go? We're gonna be laaaaaaate!" She is gracious about this. :-)

2. Have you forgotten anything of importance lately?

The list of things I've forgotten lately is l-o-n-g. It's been an unusually stressful program year, and I've been in recovery mode for the last couple of weeks–and thus, not at the top of my game. But I'm working on it...and I get to go and sit beside a lake with Beloved for five days starting late next week. Huzzah, I say!

3. Is procrastination your inclination? Why or why not?

It depends. If it's a book or something over which I have creative control, I'm likely to go great guns until it's done, even months ahead of the deadline. But sometimes I have a hard time dragging myself off the couch to do another load of laundry!

4. Do you like schedules or spontaneity? Which works best for you?

I like spontaneity; I function better with schedules.

5. How do you stay on track with the various things you need to, people you must meet, etc., etc.?

My laptop has helped a lot, I think. WiFi and Google calendars and instant access to email. That having been said, I have 3 email accounts and 3 voicemail boxes to keep track of, which is a bit wearing.

BONUS: Whatever comes to mind about forgetfulness or lateness.

What was the question?

Friday Five: Crush

Though it's a few days late, this is too much fun to resist. Songbird of the Revgals writes:

I have to admit it. I felt for her.

You see, in high school, I had a crush on my Chorus teacher. He was a young guy, and he had gone to college with some cousins of mine, and over the summer between 9th and 10th grade, we ran into each other at a series of pre-wedding parties, and I feel DEEPLY in like.

You?

1) Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?

I had a terrible crush on my sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Hager. She went to my church, and we bumped into one another out in The World once in a while (laying to rest my earlier understanding of teachers as context-sensitive beings who only existed in classrooms and faculty lounges, but evaporated if they tried to leave the school grounds...)

I was crushed out to the point at which I dressed like her...which sounds harmless enough, until you picture an 11-year-old in a calico shirt (the kind where every panel is a different fabric) over a TUBE TOP. (Shudder.)

2) Who was your first crush?

Hmmm...the first one. That was early. Kristin Setterstrom, our 4-houses-away

neighbor, was about 5 years older than I, and she looked a bit like Kristy McNichol. LOVED her. She babysat my sister and me a couple of times, and when all the rest of us (younger) kids on the block were playing Statue Tag in the front yard, I always kept one eye turned toward her house, in the hope that she might come out and join us. Alas, no.

3) Have you ever given a gift to a crush?

Oh, yeah. Poorly written, unmailed love-scratchings, mostly.

4) Do you have a celebrity crush? (Around my house we call them TV boyfriends and girlfriends...)

If Emma Thompson ever looked my way, Beloved might need to be a bit indulgent with me. ;-)

5) Have you ever been surprised to find yourself the crushee?

The first time was in first grade. George Christidis gave me a pin shaped like a chicken, that he'd got from a gumball machine. Looking back, he was a tiny George Clooney--gorgeous kid. Bet he's breaking some hearts now. Hope I wasn't too hard on him.

Oh, and Tom Harder called me several times in fourth grade to profess his undying devotion and to propose an ongoing relationship. Nice fella. Our dads drove the same kind of car. I liked the attention better than I liked him, though. Poor Tom.

Friday Five: play that funky music, white girl

Mary Beth of the RevGals writes:

The sad news of Michael Jackson's untimely death has me thinking about music and its effects on us - individually, as cultures, as generations. Let's think about the soundtracks of our lives...

1) What sort of music did you listen to as a child - this would likely have been determined or influenced by your parents? Or perhaps your family wasn't musical...was the news the background? the radio? Singing around the piano?



Mmmm...earliest memories include my Close-n-Play, guitar lessons, hearing my mom's accordion ("Lady of Spain," anyone?) all through the house, and looking forward all week to music class at school. Mrs. Ewald, my teacher, was really creative about getting us "hands on" with a variety of instruments, and we sang all the time. In fact, the first songs I ever really took notice of, listening to the words and how they fit with the music, I learned in music class. Here's one of them:

There's a land that I see where the children are free
And I say it ain't far to this land from where we are
Take my hand, come with me, where the children are free
Come with me, take my hand, and we'll live

In a land where the river runs free
In a land through the green country
In a land to a shining sea
And you and me are free to be you and me

Which says to me that I was a sort of utopian, social-justice oriented kid from w-a-y back, ready to be part of the Lesbian Musical Earnestness Wave, a la Indigo Girls, from age 7! :-)


2) Going ahead to teenage years, is there a song that says "high school" (or whatever it might've been called where you lived") to you?

So MANY. So much CHEESE. :-) The list is long and embarrassing. This is more 6th grade, really, but I remember dancing around my bedroom, singing into my Tickle deodorant, to this one. I was pretty sure that I'd grow up to be one of her backup singers.




3) What is your favorite music for a lift on a down day? (hint: go to www.pandora.com and type in a performer/composer...see what you come up with!)

Hmmm...again, LOTS.

Stevie Wonder--Sir Duke
Elton John--Tiny Dancer
Gustav Holst--finale from St. Paul's Suite
Aretha Franklin--Natural Woman
Indigo Girls--Get Out the Map
Beethoven--last few minutes of last movement of 9th Symphony ("Ode to Joy" part)
Billy Joel--Just the Way You Are
Captain & Tennille--Song of Joy (no link, sorry)
Patti LaBelle--Ready for a Miracle
Sarah McLachlan--Ordinary Miracle

And, of course, any really good choral music (soft spot for spirituals), cranked up LOUD. Beloved and I used to sing with this group, and had the privilege of singing this particular piece under the baton of its composer, in his guest stint with us. We had a group of friends sing it at our wedding.



4) Who is your favorite performer of all time?

There's been so much brilliant music...where do I begin? I love Jessye Norman's ability to completely mesmerize an audience; YoYo Ma's joy; the way music seeps from Bobby McFerrin's pores; the Indigo Girls' laid-back honesty; Bonnie Raitt, Lyle Lovett and Keb Mo's effortless cool and amazing musicianship, Aretha Franklin's willingness to leave everything on the stage. Basically, anyone with the chops to write a lyric that says something honestly and poetically, pair it with an evocative musical setting and present it unabashedly and artistically has something to offer that I want to hear. I can't possibly pick just one.

5) What is your favorite style of music for worship?

Almost all of them...from great, crashing organ music to soaring choirs to joyful Latin/African drums to gospel to one little kid lisping out "Jesus Loves Me" to jazz to Taize to a whole congregation cranked up on "Amazing Grace" to the sound of silence. I can't do a steady diet of vapid, simplistic stuff, and I don't really get the rap thing--but I'm willing to try almost anything once, as long as it points to God instead of itself and finds that taproot of reality and joy. I'll leave you with this:

Verb: that's what's happening

Jan of the RevGals writes:

Jennifer recommended this book, which I got because I always value Jennifer's reading suggestions. The author of Life is a Verb, Patti Digh worked her book around these topics concerning life as a verb:

• Say yes.
• Be generous.
• Speak up.
• Love more.
• Trust yourself.
• Slow down.

As I read and pondered about living more intentionally, I also have wondered what this Friday Five should be. This book has been the jumping off point for this Friday.

1. What awakens you to the present moment?

The pups are good at it--Linus has a special beagley "rowl," combined with a grin, that says "Get out of your head! Let's play!" Lucy hops up on the couch and curls her warm little body against me, as if to say, "Pet me, please. Mmmmm." It's great--they insist, in their delightfully individual ways, upon being heard, upon bringing me back into "now."

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?

Beautiful trees, a cardinal's nest, the neighbor kid on his way down the street, heavy clouds, a squirrel just managing to cross the street without being run over.

3. Which verbs describe your experience of God?

Open, offer, receive, trust, try, love.

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?

13? Oh, yuck. What a horrible year. I was studious, lonely, and insecure. My family was having trouble and I didn't yet know who I was. That kid is mostly grown up; she peeks around a corner from time to time, but her suffering has been eased.

5. From the book on p. 88:
If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?

Assuming we're talking about music here--what's the closest thing to play in your life? What absorbs you?

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149:
"Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."

Raindrop. Ummm...another raindrop. :-)

Friday five: getting the heck out of Dodge

Mary Beth of the RevGals suggests, "Let's think about VACATIONS! I certainly am!"

1) What did your family do for vacations when you were a child? Or did you have stay-cations at home?

Fishing. Dad loves to fish; Mom's a fan, too. Often, Saturday DAY trips would start at 5 a.m. with a drive into Neighboring Cheese-oriented State, a day of fishing, and a return home after midnight. My sister and I were mostly resigned to this; I've always loved to read, so I got a LOT of reading done on those trips!

2) Tell us about your favorite vacation ever:

Two stories--

There's a small, family-run, 3-cabin resort in the northern middle of Neighboring Cheese-oriented State; various members of my dad's side of the family have been spending vacation time there since the 1930s. (It's on a "rent a cabin for the summer" basis now, so I haven't been there in a couple of decades. Bwaaa.) My family went, the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, and I got to bring Lori, my best friend. We (still!) have the sort of friendship in which we can find fun in a trip to the grocery store. A solid week together was fantastic; being at the lake with the swimming and the boating and the hiking and the canasta games and the chocolate-covered peanuts = fun, not to be measured with existing technology.

And then there's that whole "honeymoon" thing--Beloved and I got married, two Octobers ago. Immediately afterward, we spent a few days at a lake house belonging to friends, which was a welcome respite. Lovely and still. A month later, we went to Chicago for a long weekend--great pizza, great art, great theater, gorgeous hotel, terrific wife. WONDERFUL.

3) What do you do for a one-day or afternoon getaway...is there a place nearby that you escape to on a Saturday afternoon/other day off?

There's a lovely town on the nearby Very Big River...including fun shops and several lovely B&Bs, as well as its proximity to two excellent state parks.

Alternatively, the back yard hammock is good!

4) What's your best recommendation for a full-on vacation near you...what would you suggest to someone coming to your area? (Near - may be defined any way you wish!)

Our Major Metropolis is so full of world-class music, theater & art, good food, great parks, sports teams...there's something for every taste. Truly--it's hard to justify leaving it for a vacation somewhere else!

5) What's your DREAM VACATION?

I'm thinking we should start in Norway and make our way south. It would take a while, and also a chunk of change:

• fjords and the culture of my rellies
  
• Iona Community
• London--significant stopover
  
• German/Austrian music (and some Eastern European choral music) and the culture of Beloved's rellies
  
• Paris--the obvious
• Italy--eating our way through Tuscany, stopping in Rome for some history
• Greece--continuing with the history, and ending up on a beach by some Very Blue Water before we come home
  

Bonus: Any particularly awful vacation stories that you just have to tell? ("We'll laugh about this later..." maybe that time is now!)

Oh, four or five leap to mind. The one I'll share happened when I was about five years old, and my sister was a toddler. My dad had borrowed his brother's tent and camping gear, and we were going to have our first family camping trip. It was early summer, nice and warm out, good weather forecast. Well, we arrived at the campsite, my folks got stuff set up and, just as Dad was pounding the last tent stake, Mom looked up to see my sister heading for the lake, full speed ahead. I'll sum up the rest of the weekend with these important points:

• There was no beach. At the shoreline, the water was 6 feet deep.
• Mari went for it. Mom jumped in after her.
• Mom can't swim. Dad jumped in and fished both of them out, just as the sun was going down.
• It got down to 25 degrees that night.
• We packed up and went to the Holiday Inn in the morning.
  

I was the only person who'd had any fun at all camping, but the area chipmunks also seemed pleased when I shared my nutritious breakfast with them:


In addition to its 100% of minimum daily requirements of vitamins and iron, it was a great big bowl full of delicious camping metaphor.

Friday five: there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza; let's plug it with money

Singing Owl of the RevGals writes:

I wrote this Friday Five a while back but was unable to post it. Just saying, so you know I am not ill! :-) Actually I am heading out of town and will not be able to read your posts till sometime early next week, but I'll do so then. Have fun, and don't think too hard about this one. I figured we were due for some fun after Lent and Good Friday and Easter and all that churchy stuff! Four days of being mostly in bed with a reallyhowever, has been cheated in my case and I am up and taking nourishment. In that vein of thought, do you have a "Bucket List"? In other words, from the movie of the same name, five things you want to see, do, accomplish, etc. before you kick the bucket?

This is a biiiig bucket. :-)

Get legally married, knowing that we'll have the same rights and protections as any other couple as we age in the state where we live. Things are starting to look promising as momentum builds across the country!



Go back to seminary: maybe chaplaincy, maybe full ordination. If ordination, focus on homiletics. Learn to read Biblical Greek & Hebrew.




See a sunrise over the Grand Canyon, leaf-peep in New England, sail through the Fjords of Norway, dogsled on the Alaskan Glaciers, go on a "culture spree" in NYC, see the ancient wonders of Rome, eat my way through Tuscany, hear great German music in person, and lie on the beaches of the Mediterranean. Hmmm... and maybe, once, Christmas in London--including Lessons & Carols at King's College, a pilgrimage to Aldeburgh and time at Iona, while I'm in the neighborhood.




Keep my choirs growing and healthy. Keep challenging myself as a conductor. Learn to play trombone & bassoon, and spend some time in a community orchestra (playing one of those or taking up cello again, with Lori as my stand partner), just for the fun of it. Maybe conduct one.


Suffer a near-miss with a big bag of money falling from the sky. Though it won't fall on my head and kill me, it WILL make possible all of the above, as well as a quiet spot on a lakeshore to call our own, with regular time:

• to be with Beloved and watch her create things
  
• to read
• to hang out with our pups
  
• to write music and poetry (maybe publish something?)
  
• to just be in nature

Friday five: it slices! It dices! It even makes julienne fries!

Sally of the RevGals writes:

As I write this I am waiting for my new dishwasher to be delivered, it along with my washing machine and vacuum cleaner are household appliances that I consider indispensable! Others not so much, we decided not to replace our tumble drier when the old one finally gave out last year, and I can honestly say I haven't really missed it. My hubby Tim and I often disagree about which household appliances are really necessary and which ones aren't, we also enjoy a few luxury items, one of my favorites is a juicer, and Tim's is our all-singing-all-dancing filter coffee maker--it has a thermos jug so the coffee stays nice and hot without the aid of a heat element.

So being in a domestic frame of mind I thought I'd ask:

1. What is the one appliance you simply couldn't be without?

I live in Minnesota. This is, in part, because I prefer being cold to being too hot. But August...well, as they say around here, "It's not the heat; it's the humidity." YECH. And so...our bedroom air conditioner gets my vote here.

Because a Choralgirl that sleeps through the night is much more rational and pleasant than a Choralgirl that sweats and swears her way through the 2-4 a.m. period.

Oh, and we've got a George Foreman grill that's not going ANYWHERE. Panini...mmmmmm.

2. What, if anything, would you happily give up?

The 1000 mysterious gizmos that clutter the kitchen cabinets.

3. What is the strangest household appliance you own?

A vaporizer shaped like a penguin.

4. What is the most luxurious household appliance you own?

When we had a housemate, our (rather small) refrigerator was always stuffed beyond usefulness. So we got a mini-fridge for beverages and tucked it under the counter. Best. Idea. Ever. Buy soda in bulk (cheaply), stock the little fridge, and there's always one cold. And it's possible to always have beer and a couple of bottles of wine in there, too...as they would have said in the sixties (on TV), "It makes entertaining a breeze!"

5. Tell us about your dream kitchen--the sky is the limit here...

It has beautiful wood cabinetry, is sunny, and is staffed by Padma Lakshmi, full-time. ;-) Nah--just kidding. Actually, ours is very nice--it's big and colorful, it's sunny, and it is occasionally staffed by my Beloved, who is lovely and gifted in the kitchen.

But I'm only partly kidding about the personal chef. We're always on the run; it'd be terrific to have someone whose raison d'etre (at least professionally) was to provide us with fresh, healthy meals! FAB. I'm just too adept at eating fast food in the car.

Friday five: fork in the road

Singing Owl of the RevGals writes:

I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

I'm reminded of the Yogi Berra quote

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Funny...and yet descriptive, too. 'Cause that's how I roll:

Age 9: I remember trying to decide which I liked more: visual art or music? I was trying to decide where to focus my energy. (No, I wasn't overprogrammed, just a thinker.) I really enjoyed both, and liked the fact that I always had something to show for my effort after art class. But I loved to sing, and had just started guitar lessons on my 3/4 size red-and-black acoustic guitar. I liked the way that I felt more alive somehow when I sang...and so my Inner Romantic conquered my Inner Pragmatist for the first of, oh, I don't even KNOW how many decisions. I made the right call, though--I'm a decent musician, but have no discernible talent in the visual arts. :-)

Age 19: Music Therapy major or Music Education major? After much agonizing I ended up trying both and then graduating with an extremely marketable B.A. in Music. (snicker) I had a starter job in music publishing, in which I've worked on and off for my whole career, and so I decided to GRADUATE and get on with my life!

Age 29: Continue in corporate training or go to seminary? I was off to a good start as a trainer, and more-or-less liked it. Was making good money, had a lot of contacts...and was ultimately dissatisfied that it was the way I should be spending my time and effort. And it seemed that a deeper voice was speaking in me. Seminary it was. Now: MDiv or MSM (sacred music)? It was music...but I haven't stopped considering MDiv as well. Maybe my denomination will make that a bit easier for me next summer.

Age 39: Continue in church music or go back to training? I'd had a shattering experience at my First Big Church Job and was seriously questioning my calling...not to mention having a pile of debt from going back to school. Exhausted and disheartened, I wasn't sure I was willing to put myself back together and try to continue church work. And then there was The Interview. I met with the hiring committee of my present church and something deep inside me sang...and that was the right answer, the healing answer, the real answer.

Age 9-29: I think I'm gay. Do I ignore it and hope it goes away, or do I find out more about what it might mean for me? From 9-18, I ignored it. From 18-19, I fell in love and got my heart broken. From 19-29 I fought it. At 29, I fell in love with Beloved and the world opened up.

And I knew what to do.

Friday five: raindrops, kittens, kettles, mittens

Songbird of the RevGals writes: In a week of wondering how various things in our family life will unfold, I found myself thinking of the way Maria comforted the Von Trapp children in one of my favorite movies. Frightened by a thunder storm, the children descend upon her, and she sings to them about her favorite things, taking their minds off the storm. So, let's encourage ourselves. Share with us five of your favorite things. Use words or pictures, whatever expresses it best.

Up-front bonus answer: As it happens, Songbirds question comes from my favorite movie, of which I know every word. My first time seeing it was in utero, at the Coronado Theatre in Rockford, IL--and my family watched it together on TV (as it got shorter and shorter, edited to increase commercial time) every year. It was the first video...and then the first DVD I bought. Much better when viewed in its entirety!

Now, on with our program:

1. Home. My wife, my pups, the colors and clutter and comfort of our house. More musical instruments than we can play, my stack of "to read" books, photos of loved ones, our very eclectic CD collection and an absolutely gorgeous kitchen table (expands to seat 10 friends). Snuggling up together (all 4 of us) to watch a movie and have some hot kettle corn & a cold diet coke.

2. Making music. I have the privilege of leading three musical groups, two of them choirs, and it's terrific. I plan the music we'll work on, some guidance, some criticism, some encouragement, some insight; they bring their generosity and goodwill and sense of humor. We make something beautiful, we mess up, we laugh, and we grow together. Fantastic.


3. Hammock/book/beer in a warmer,slower season than this one--or a crackling fire/marshmallows/cocoa. First activity is solitary; second is best enjoyed with loved ones!


4. Discovering a new, wonderful author. I heard of John Updike's death a week or so ago, and realized that I'd never read anything he'd written. This seemed like a situation that should be remedied. I bought this book, which is intelligent, insightful and harrowing. It opens me, in that way really good writers can. And he's got a long list of books to savor.


5. Scandinavian baked goods. If it's beige, sweet, and flavored with almonds chances are good I'll like it. It's not just the sweets themselves, though they're wonderful. My (Norwegian!) grandma worked in a Swedish bakery and always had a treat for me when I came in. I miss her! Krumkake, skorpa, sandbakkels, pepparkakor, kransekake...mmmmmm.

Friday five: nesting

WillSmama of the RevGals writes:

As some of you may know I am in the midst of my first home purchase. It is a new-build and so some of the fun was picking out upgrades and major decor items to my taste rather than walking into a previously owned home that needed to be upgraded room by room (pink and teal tiles in the bathroom, anyone?). As much as decorating is not my thing, I did try to embrace the moment because just how many times do you get to have a do-over on kitchen cabinets/floors/countertops?

And so, my questions to you this fine Friday involve your home past, present or future...

1) If you could, what room in the place you are currently living would you redo first?

Hmmm...not a room, but the roof. Needs help. And new garage doors. And a sturdier deck. And better heating for the (wonderful, full-of-windows) kitchen, most of which was an add-on by the previous owner. Gets a little chilly in there when it's below zero outside (all hail the MN January). Heated floor, anyone?

2) What is the most hideous feature/color/decor item you have ever seen in a home?

That'd have to be the wallpaper in my high school bedroom. My family moved into an old English Tudor when I was a freshman, and wow--there was this ghastly wallpaper with giant flowers on it. It gave me nightmares. Seriously. The flowers were reaching out and strangling me. I covered it as much as possible with posters.

In our present house, I was pretty tickled with all the decor choices the previous folks had made, save one: the downstairs bathroom was painted peach. Yech. It took several tries to find the right replacement color (a pale seafoam green), including a shade of green that was great on the paint chip, but a whole wall's worth made me want to glue Hershey bars to the wall in a random pattern. You see, it was the exact color of mint chip ice cream.


3) What feature do you most covet? Do you have it? If not, is it within reach?

I absolutely love the glass-brick wall in the same bathroom, but would caution against putting one in on an eastern wall. Showering at sunrise is BLINDING.

4) Your kitchen - love it or hate it? Why?

Love it--big and colorful, lots of light, lots of counter space. We could use more cabinets, but hey--who couldn't? Also, my magnet collection lives on the fridge, chronicling vacations and funnies and gifts from friends. The floors are beech Pergo and the walls are forest green, which sets off some really fun art:

• this goofy clock (I found the link by googling "clock fish carrot"--it was first on the list!)
• a small, mobile sculpture a la Calder
  
• an original pastel by an artist friend
  
• a Kandinsky print
  
• a poster from Ravinia, bought on a lovely, surprise weekend trip with College Roommate.
  

There's something about art that makes a home feel like it's really yours--even if the bank owns more of it than you do. (wink, wink)

5) Here is $10,000 and you HAVE to spend it on the place you are living now. What do you do?

In order: new stove, roof, garage doors, deck, and heated kitchen floor. Beloved is really good at doing most of what needs doing, but for some things (roof), it's just good to let a pro do it!

BONUS: Why do you think there was such a surplus of ugly bathroom tile colors showcased in all homes built from the 1950's right through the early 80's?

It is indeed mysterious. But I think that cutting-edge fashion gone mainstream often turns into the mullet/Flashdance sweats/Zubaz of the next generation. This also applies to home decorating.

But, despite our better judgment, sometimes they come back.

Friday five: cabin fever

Singing Owl of the RevGals writes:

Here in snow country we are settled in to what is a very long stretch of potentially boring days. The holidays are over. It is a very long time till we will get outside on a regular basis. The snow that seemed so beautiful at first is now dirty and the snow banks are piling up. Our vehicles are all the same shade of brownish grey, but if we go to the car wash our doors will freeze shut. People get grumpy. Of course, not everyone lives in a cold climate, but even in warmer places the days till springtime can get long. Help! Please give us five suggestions for combating cabin fever and staying cheerful in our monochromatic world?

1. Get a dog, and take the dog outside to romp in the snow. Linus & Lucy's first experience of snow meant lots of joyful hilarity--they LOVE it. Linus immediately stuck his whole head in the biggest snowbank he could find and came out snuffling & happy, which made Beloved and me giggle. It's impossible to be in a bad mood while watching any creature that happy--especially one that you love! This is an excellent example, found through my friend Diane:



2. Go outside and play a while, yourself. Walk in the woods, enjoy the blanket of quiet, notice that the air is somehow clearer. It's easier to discover other creatures out there with all the leaves gone, and the monochromatic backdrop. Ski, snowboard, skate, build a snowman, have a snowball fight. PLAY. The snow is more than just something you have to keep shoving off your windshield and sidewalk.

3. Then come back inside and have some hot chocolate and a cookie or popcorn...in front of a fire, if possible. With a book or a snuggly someone.

4. Set up bird feeders outside your window. The birds will be grateful...and birds--pretty in the spring--can leave you gasping with the beauty in the winter against the stark backdrop of black & white.

5. Do something goofy and out of the ordinary routine. Festoon your house with paper snowflakes. Call five friends and have a spur-of-the-moment "silly hat" party (or a Scrabble tournament!). Make snowman cookies by dipping oreos in white chocolate and decorating them. See which member of your family can wear the most items of clothing all at once, Joey-style (commando status optional):



Bonus: Go & visit someone who really can't get out of their house due to illness or infirmity. Set up bird feeders for THEM. You'll both feel better!

Friday five: in your eyes

Sophia of the RevGals writes:

This Friday Five is inspired by my husband's Lasik surgery yesterday....He'd been contemplating it for a while and was pushed over the edge by the fact that we put too much money in our healthcare spending account this year and it would have been gone anyway. (There was only enough for one eye, but the kind people at the eye clinic figured out a way to divvy up the charges between surgery and followup in January=next year's spending account). So please say a little prayer for his safe recovery and share with us your thoughts on eyes and vision.

1. What color are your beautiful eyes? Did you inherit them from or pass them on to anyone in your family?

Got Dad's eye color, I think--I'm hazel, and the color of my eyes depends on the color of my shirt! Nifty to have a wardrobe accessory that requires exactly NO effort on my part. ;-)

2. What color eyes would you choose if you could change them?

I'm happy with what I have, which is the same as what Beloved has! When I was a kid, I wanted them to be Scandinavian blue all the time; I've also grown to appreciate deep, rich brown (Linus & Lucy's eyes!).

3. Do you wear glasses or contacts? What kind? Like 'em or hate 'em?

Reading glasses, that bane of middle age. But they sure cut down on computer-related headaches, and I do like the way they look! Besides, they've been a long time coming: I remember being really jealous of Christine Lunde in 4th grade, when she got big, cover-your-whole-face, early-'80s-pink glasses; I thought they were the epitome of cool. Now I have some, too (though they're about 1/3 the size of hers, and silver). Nyah nyah.

Hee hee hee.

4. Ever had, or contemplated, laser surgery? Happy with the results?

No need, thus far. Which is good, because the idea kind of creeps me out. We dissected ox eyes in 8th grade biology, and Charlie Rutherford saved a lens to throw into Ann Gano's mashed potatoes at lunch. I've never quite recovered, and it wasn't even my lunch!

5. Do you like to look people in the eye, or are you more eye-shy?

I'm pretty direct, but try not to be aggressive about it. I like eye contact; you can learn a lot by looking someone in the eye, and there's an undercurrent of integrity and openness there, too.


Bonus question: Share a poem, song, or prayer that relates to eyes and seeing.

From one of my favorite teenage "almost a stalker" movie moments in Say Anything (John Cusack and Ione Skye--yeah, baby!):




In my "church musican" mode...

One great thing about being an alto is getting to sing the recitative in Handel's Messiah that offers such a beautiful vision of promises fulfilled:

Then shall the eyes of the blind be opened,
and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
then shall the lame man leap as an hart
and the tongue of the dumb shall sing!

Finally, I'm also a big fan of this one, which I'll offer as a sort of benediction for today:

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
naught be all else to me, save that Thou art!
Thou, my best thought by day or by night;
waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light!