Ponderment illuminated

So...I had questions. Here's one more factor in the equation:


Good to know that we don't have to spend such a precious resource to make more of them.

So it's not just stubbornness

Interesting.

Finanshul sikyuritee: new stratijee needed

This is the best I've heard of thus far:

Non-anxious presence

A comment from the Mad Preacher about the last post sort of clarified something for me. She alluded to someone we both used to report to, who used the phrase "non-anxious presence" as a mantra, but was leagues off from even a wrong-end-of-the-telescope view of that state of leadership. Well, it made me chuckle--not just at the former supervisor, but at myself.

'Cause I'm not one, right now, in a couple of the leadership capacities in which I serve.

I've seen "Unbloggable" as a post title in several other blogs I read regularly, usually describing a period in which the writing either a) won't quite come, or b) presents itself, but boundary issues prevent blogging it. I'm having an "Unbloggable" time right now. I know it's been a while since I offered a substantive post, and please know that I'll be back to it when I can. Just got a bit of sifting to do first; I'm walking through sort of a sandstorm.

In the manner of the "please stay on the line; your call is important to us" messages we get while we're on hold, here's some loveliness for you and me to listen to as we wait. :-) Peace, friends.

Media round-up: election edition

It's been an interesting morning in the "papers." The debacle on Wall Street, the hurricane in Texas and the train crash in California--well, prayers underway for all of those situations, all sad and scary. Today, the interesting thread (the only one in which I really have a voice, small as it is) seems to be the election!

Thomas Friedman's onto something here, I think.

My, what a harrowing idea Dahlia Lithwick's had.

And I'd like to give a shout-out to Fareed Zakaria for pointing out the striking difference between McCain's perspective on the world and Obama's.

And, for good measure: Life imitates art.

Peace, friends.

The antidote

...to too much political thinking is to snicker, chortle and chuckle at people's efforts not to take themselves too seriously:

My people. (And here.)

The chosen people. (Here, too!)

Some combination thereof. Use the "search inside" feature. Read a couple of pages. You'll be hooked, and this book does NOT disappoint, all the way to the end. Gut-bustingly funny, well-researched, insightful and poignant. I dare you to count all the Biblical and cultural references that are subtly (and hilariously) "explained" within its covers.

On the other hand, these good folks are taking themselves a bit seriously.

There now, don't you feel better?

P.S. Just got this from a friend. Apparently, I'm the only person in the States who didn't see this on Saturday, but OMG, it's funny!

Chorus, this one's for you!

Here's your lost song, I think. The artist is Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, and he was a much-loved Hawaiian musician. I think he was pretty terrific, too. :-)

Friday five: back to school

It's time for a Back-To-School Friday Five!

1. Is anyone going back to school, as a student or teacher, at your house? How's it going so far?
Well, I work for a university and Beloved is a speech/language pathologist for the public schools, so things are stepping up for both of us. It also means the beginning of rehearsals for church and our other choir, so our big challenge at the moment is making sure the pups don't spend their entire lives in their kennel. They're becoming rather well-traveled, and the pup-sitters are in full swing!

2. Were you glad or sad when back-to-school time came as a kid?
Yes. I've always loved the comparative calm of summer; there's more time to read! But there's something about a fresh bag of school supplies that makes my heart beat a bit faster. :-) I was a good student and liked learning, so school was fun, for the most part.

3. Did your family of origin have any rituals to mark this time of year? How about now?
My sister and I always played "store" together after we came home from school-supply shopping; one of my favorite memories of kidhood. Now, the only ritual Beloved and I have is stepped-up conversation about calendars!

4. Favorite memories of back-to-school outfits, lunchboxes, etc?
One year, I had a Charlie's Angels lunchbox. This was funny, because I lived close enough to school that I came home for lunch. But I had pined for the thing, because I just loved that show, so Mom got it for me. Pretty cool surprise! I still carried it, but more as a mini-backpack.

Also, my paternal grandmother used to buy me an outfit for back-to-school every year. Now, it was the '70s, but these were some of the godawfulest clothes you've ever seen; gray wool for a kindergartener? I know, right? Seriously, the fact that she'd raised three boys was never more evident than in the little pantsuits and loud patterns she bought me.

Hmmm...pantsuits as a little kid. Maybe THAT's why I'm gay.

LOL...

5. What was your best year of school?
There were two: I loved sixth grade, and also junior year of high school. I had a serious crush on my sixth-grade teacher, and was happy to finally be in the "oldest" class at my elementary school. I was a really shy kid, and sixth grade was sort of an "oasis" year when I felt like I was starting not to be such a geek. (That feeling went away pretty quickly when I got to middle school, BTW.)

Junior year was great, because I had a close group of friends (a year older than I, which made senior year sort of a drag) and a nice boyfriend; I could drive; I helped to found a choir at school; and finally, I was co-president of the orchestra along with L, my stand partner and best friend. That year was a LOT of fun. (We STILL have a great time together!)

Meme-andering

I saw this at Chorus's place, and thought it looked like fun. Join in, y'all, if you've got the time and the inclination!

1. My aunt once filled in the gaps in my family history for me. I love her a lot.

2. Never in my life will I willingly go hot-air ballooning, jump out of a plane, eat bugs or pee outside when it's possible to pee inside.

3. When I was five I had a ridiculous bowl haircut and a cool, olive-green bike that my dad made me.

4. High school was mostly hard. Not academically, but socially and familially.

5. I will never forget when I forgot the words AND music to a memorized (!) Vivaldi piece in my college Senior Recital. I did not panic; I made it up. My brilliant accompanist covered. The only one who knew was my voice coach!

6. Once I met my shadow side, I tried to treat her with compassion.

7. There’s this boy I know who is surprisingly kind, considering his environment.

8. Once, at a bar, I had a pickled egg. Blecccchhhhhh.

9. By noon, I'm usually fully conscious. :-)

10. Last night I was feeling sorry for myself.

11. If only I had a brain, a heart, the nerve...oh, and enough cash to pay off my credit cards. And maybe a minute in a back alley to kick the snot out of Karl Rove for our continuing culture war.

12. Next time I go to church I'll lead my newly-expanded choir in some Pergolesi. Mmmmm.

13. What worries me most...hmmm...another four years of disastrous foreign and economic policies, and/or losing Beloved.

14. When I turn my head left I see out the windows to a sunny day.

15. When I turn my head right I see a white wall with a thermostat on it.

16. You know I’m lying whenever I do it. I'm not good at it, and I'm not trying to improve.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is playing in orchestra with L every day.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Beatrice! (Would I get to look like Emma Thompson, too?)

19. By this time next year I hope that I've lost another 20 pounds.

20. A better name for me would be...hmmm...well, I've always liked "Grace," but I'll stick with what I've got. Mine's easier to live up to. :-)

21. I have a hard time understanding fundagelicals.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll go for ordination.

23. You know I like you if I offer you part of my cookie. Seriously.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be Beloved, of course.

25. Take my advice, never take advice wholesale. Talk to those whose opinion you value, and then listen, listen, listen to that little voice in your soul.

26. My ideal breakfast is eaten at lunchtime! Some fluffy, eggy, cheesy thing; some bacon; some cinnamony coffee cake; some OJ? Maybe a mimosa?

27. A song I love but do not have, I'll make an effort to get. It's my job, ya know.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest continuing to drive right on through it, and keep going 'til you're in Chicago.

29. Why won’t people

• look past the surface?
  
• try to elevate public discourse?
• understand that some societal concerns should not be driven by the market?
  
• make decisions based upon reason, combined with compassion, insofar as it is possible?
  
• understand that the left lane is the passing lane?
  
• demand leadership that asks something of the citizenry, too?
• build a society that pays teachers and caregivers as much as titans of industry? Intangible benefits are great, but so is EATING during retirement.
  

30. If you spend a night at my house, prepared to be coated in puppy slobber.

31. I’d stop my wedding for no reason whatsoever; it took ten years to get it STARTED! And it was glorious.

32. The world could do without Fox News and media consolidation.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than ...sit next to Rush Limbaugh on a plane.

34. My favorite blondie is Beloved, of course. (Though I have no opposition to the occasional blonde brownie...it's the Lutheran in me . I love "bars.")

35. Paper clips are more useful than much political punditry.

36. If I do anything well it’s choir devotions.

37. I can’t help but love people who love to sing.

38. I usually cry when my congregation really cranks up on a hymn.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece: read everything you can get your hands on, don't be afraid to think or to love with everything you've got! Oh, and SING.

40. And by the way, if you think of it, send me your favorite cookie recipe!

A reading from the book of Cohen

This is good. Sad, but good.

Ordinary miracles

It's Monday morning, and I'm mellow and happy. I had an actual Sabbath yesterday (after a wild-but-good, musicky Rally/Welcome Sunday) at church.

42 years old, and I may just have figured out that I need a day or two to get comparatively quiet...watch the pups romp in the yard, read a bit, eat a really nice meal, make a little music, curl up with Beloved and the pups and just enjoy the fact that we're all together, healthy, sheltered, fed. Ordinary miracles--when I get quiet enough to notice their abundance, it's impossible not to be incredibly grateful to be alive.

I hope that you're drenched in blessing today, too. :-)

Made me laugh

Friday five: my face in this world

Sally from the RevGalBlogPals writes:

I have recently been reading a book entitled Jesus wept, it is all about vulnerability in leadership. The authors speak of how Jesus shared his earthly frustrations and vulnerabilities with a select group of people. To some he was the charismatic leader and teacher, to others words of wisdom were opened and explained and some frustrations shared, to his "inner circle of friends: Peter, James and John, he was most fully himself, and in all of these things he was open to God.

So I bring you this week's Friday 5:

1. Is vulnerability something that comes easily to you, or are you a private person?

I'm a pretty open person; I lead with my heart, sometimes too much so. It's great to be in my forties and to not care so much what people are thinking of me--that's such a barrier to really getting to know them (not to mention a festival of grandiosity...). :-) I value connection more than protection, I guess.

2.How important is it to keep up a professional persona in work/ ministry?

Depends on your definition of "professional," I suppose. I'm clear about what my standards are, but I'm much more comfortable being approachable and getting to know people, listening to them. I'm not formal, but I think I'm pretty good at what I do. Focus shouldn't be on me anyway!

One caveat: though I'm mostly pretty open, I think there are times for discretion about how I'm feeling. The good of the group and just-plain considerate behavior should come first.

3. Masks, a form of self protection: discuss...

I guess we all wear them in some situations. Since coming out of the closet, though, I really value the ability to be honest about who I am and what I'm doing. Concealment takes work. Sometimes it's necessary for safety, sometimes for maintenance of appropriate boundaries, but I find it exhausting over the long term. My internal editor has already done enough work for a lifetime!

4. Who knows you warts and all?

Beloved, as well as many friends--I'm honest enough that I think many people see as full a version of me as their lens and level of interest allow. I spent my early years sort of tying my own hands with worry about being liked, and thought of as smart/kind/interesting/etc. that I try not to spend a lot of energy on my "persona." I'm more interested in what's happening around me, and finding my contribution within that sphere. When I'm worrying about what people think, I try to confess that worry to a trustworthy person. There's often a connection that's made in that moment of trust. I'm reasonably good, most of the time, at intuiting who those people can be.

5. Share a book, a prayer, a piece of music, a poem or a person that touches the deep place in your soul, and calls you to be who you are most authentically.

Because so much of myself comes alive in each of those places, you'd think it'd be easy to come up with a book or song or poem. There are many. The most honest answer I can give, though, concerns paying attention to my places of discomfort and praying about them. If I'm uncomfortable, 97% of the time that means I'm in the process of growing up a little bit. If I can't work it out in prayer, and need a perspective check, I talk with Beloved or a trusted friend. Often, the answer will show up around me, maybe in a worship service--through preaching, scripture, hymnody, etc.

Thanks, Sally--this was a thinker!

What you are/what you say

I'm tired of this election now. I recognize that politics is a dirty game. I do. But I'm so everlastingly tired of hearing people call one another idiots, of dividing the electorate into factions as a distraction from just how bad our current situation is, in regard to:

• the economy
• the environment
• our relationship to other countries, and especially
  
• the state of public discourse and our national ability to act with integrity about matters of conscience: justice, torture, poverty, health care.
  

Palin's speech last night does not inspire my confidence that the level of public discourse is going to rise any time soon. Nor does the reactive discussion in my office this morning, coming from the other "side." Obama's going to need a lot of intestinal fortitude to stay on the comparative high road of choosing to inspire rather than scare. I pray that he might do so, despite the temptation to lob mudballs back at 'em, because it's the first whiff of something real and transformative that I've found in electoral politics lately.

Too simplistic, you say? Is it naive to hope that our national leaders can act with civility, soberly addressing the issues of our time? Maybe. But what's the compelling case to spend our energy attacking one another instead of the problems we share? We have eight years' evidence of the result of that kind of politics, that mindset...maybe as many as sixteen. Where is the leadership that summons the "better angels of our nature," to whom Abraham Lincoln alluded?

I'll take my chances with the Obama ticket, thank you. He rightly pointed out in his speech to the Democratic convention that we can disagree without attacking one another. It seems to me that Obama might just be the leader I've been waiting for, with the quiet confidence to just lead, more answerable to the better angels of his/her own nature than the debasing devils of anger and fear on his/her shoulder. Emerson said,

What you are shouts so loud in my ears that I cannot hear what you say.

Makes it hard to take a lot of today's political rhetoric seriously.

I long for a leader who will ask me to be a better citizen, not someone who will play to my baser instincts. I long for a leader who will hold him/herself, as well as all his/her direct reports, to that same standard.

Wouldn't that be exciting?

Horrible

HORrible. No words.

UPDATE: Well, THAT story didn't stay on the Star Tribune site very long. Sorry, folks. It was about five Pakistani women who were beaten and then buried alive. Their crime? Three of them wanted to choose their husbands. The other two were trying to help make it happen.

I can't believe this is still happening in the 21st century. I don't care WHAT culture you're a part of; that's just WRONG.