Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday five: fork in the road

Singing Owl of the RevGals writes:

I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

I'm reminded of the Yogi Berra quote
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Funny...and yet descriptive, too. 'Cause that's how I roll:

Age 9: I remember trying to decide which I liked more: visual art or music? I was trying to decide where to focus my energy. (No, I wasn't overprogrammed, just a thinker.) I really enjoyed both, and liked the fact that I always had something to show for my effort after art class. But I loved to sing, and had just started guitar lessons on my 3/4 size red-and-black acoustic guitar. I liked the way that I felt more alive somehow when I sang...and so my Inner Romantic conquered my Inner Pragmatist for the first of, oh, I don't even KNOW how many decisions. I made the right call, though--I'm a decent musician, but have no discernible talent in the visual arts. :-)

Age 19: Music Therapy major or Music Education major? After much agonizing I ended up trying both and then graduating with an extremely marketable B.A. in Music. (snicker) I had a starter job in music publishing, in which I've worked on and off for my whole career, and so I decided to GRADUATE and get on with my life!

Age 29: Continue in corporate training or go to seminary? I was off to a good start as a trainer, and more-or-less liked it. Was making good money, had a lot of contacts...and was ultimately dissatisfied that it was the way I should be spending my time and effort. And it seemed that a deeper voice was speaking in me. Seminary it was. Now: MDiv or MSM (sacred music)? It was music...but I haven't stopped considering MDiv as well. Maybe my denomination will make that a bit easier for me next summer.

Age 39: Continue in church music or go back to training? I'd had a shattering experience at my First Big Church Job and was seriously questioning my calling...not to mention having a pile of debt from going back to school. Exhausted and disheartened, I wasn't sure I was willing to put myself back together and try to continue church work. And then there was The Interview. I met with the hiring committee of my present church and something deep inside me sang...and that was the right answer, the healing answer, the real answer.

Age 9-29: I think I'm gay. Do I ignore it and hope it goes away, or do I find out more about what it might mean for me? From 9-18, I ignored it. From 18-19, I fell in love and got my heart broken. From 19-29 I fought it. At 29, I fell in love with Beloved and the world opened up.

And I knew what to do.

9 comments:

Cecilia said...

beautiful. love you so much, girl.

Jan said...

Thank you for your honesty. Having a gay daughter, I was touched by your last crossroads. . .

Singing Owl said...

"...something deep inside me sang...and that was the right answer, the healing answer, the real answer."

This touched a chord and made me get teary eyed. :-) I don't know what is coming next for me, but I pray that when the choices are presented, one of them will sing!

Auntie Knickers said...

I cannot but agree with the preceding comments!

Shalom said...

Great play, as always. I hope our denomination clears the way.

Gannet Girl said...

This is a GREAT story.

RevDrKate said...

Great play. It does sing from the heart!

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to share it with my 28 year old daughter who is so hard on herself because she thinks her life should all be in place . We both know reinventing is an endless journey.

altar ego said...

I so appreciate your story. It flows, even through the painful portion(s). It seems that God leads you to places where you thrive and through pain to healing so that you can thrive again.